You have been warned !!

I also barrage you with boneheaded commercials that insult your intelligence and endlessly encourage you to buy crap you don’t need with money you don’t have in order to impress people whose opinions you don’t respect. Because I think you are stupid.

I use words like “see-thru” instead of “transparent,” apply hyperbole like “miracle” to such pedestrian, ordinary products as laundry soap, and use sloppy, ignorant expressions such as “free gift” and “very unique.” I feature celebrity gossip and pro sports fluff and call it “news.”

My primary task is not to inform or entertain but to deliver corporate and government messages to shape your opinion, keep you anxious, dissatisfied, and angry, and prevent you from ever finding peace of mind, contentment, or the tranquility of being in the moment.

I teach you that war is exciting, patriotic, even fun. I teach you that crime is everywhere and you are never safe. I teach you that violence solves problems. I teach you that people who look different from you, sound different from you, and have cultural traits different from yours must be the object of your suspicion. I teach you that people who are eccentric, have dark skin, are disabled physically or mentally, or are poor must be avoided if at all possible. Worst of all, I teach you that the key to happiness is making money and buying things to show off to others. Your constant, never-ending goal is to buy and own the newest, the latest, the biggest, the fastest, and the most opulent you can afford, even if you cannot afford it.

I provide role models of horrible, shallow, devious behavior for you and your children.

My “children’s programming” exists solely to train your children to be overweight, inactive, insatiable consumers like their parents by selling them sugar and expensive toys. I am television, and I destroy brain cells, I devour time better spent reading or working on a project or hobby. I dumb you down. I reduce all who gaze upon me to hypnotized zombies incapable of interacting with friends or family.

You have been warned.